Happy 420 Day

In remembrance of this lovely holiday, here is a Tweet from Skip today, epitomizing in 140 characters or less, why he is such a douchebag.

So as long as many things happen every single game, the Mavs will win. Genius. Also, he picked the Blazers just a few days ago.

Skip Is Getting Sneaky

I'll take it as a compliment that this douche is making it harder and harder to make picks these days. His pick for tonight...

Skip is obviously looking at lines now before making picks, because let's face it, he is not nearly as smart as the oddsmakers. Earlier today, the line was Miami -1 and O/U 41, making both picks a push and therefore ruining my system. NICE TRY SKIP BUT YOU WILL NOT BEAT ME. Luckily, I waited just long enough for the spreads to move the tiniest bit. (I really hope he doesn't know they continuously change.) Ten minutes before game time, the points are now Miami -2 and the O/U went down to 40 1/2.

I personally think it'll be a Chicago rout but this isn't about what I think. A $20 parlay on Chicago +2 and U 40 1/2 pays out $54.55.

Balls to the Wall

So Skip made a bunch of as-vague-as-you-can-get predictions today, not actually picking anyone outright but just giving his thoughts. Well his awful thoughts and passive aggressive opinions are good enough for me. I'm going for it.

First off...my Birds. Now I am a really big gambler. Like I play with an amount that would make most people sick. And ruin lives if I were married and sharing a bank account. But I never, EVER, bet on my own team. Just seems like bad karma. However...

I've also had five Tanqueray and tonics this afternoon but that's neither here nor there.

WAIT...the Eagles are favored by 3. That makes no fucking sense at all. I love them more than I love babies (not hard) but I don't see why that would be. Regardless, in honor of the system I will go against all of my rules (never betting on my team is my only rule), I'm going to go all out.

$50 on Eagles -3 pays out $52.50. tHIS IS THE LEAST HAPPY i'VE (accidental caps lock but I'll keep it to show the shape I'm in right now) ever been on a bet, but I want to prove my system. Plus, I'll be at the game. One more reason to scream my brains out at that douche Peyton.

Speaking of...who has a boy and is like "Let's name him Peyton, and spell it the girl way"?  I'M ALSO LOOKING AT YOU AUBREY HUFF. But enough with the dudes with girl names.

I'm rooting for the Lions this year too. They deserve it. But seriously, fuck Skip Bayless. $50 on the Jets -4 pays out $47.62.

OK, in hindsight, "a bunch" does not constitute two predictions, but I felt like it was more earlier on today. Hopefully he'll make some college picks tomorrow. Have a nice night people.