OH NOES

I do not like this one bit. Not at all.  But I guess I'll go with it. $25 on Texans +8 1/2 pays out $22.73.

Basketball!!

In between ramblings about how he wears Uggs like a mo, he made an NBA prediction.

The spread is Miami -6 and $20 pays out $18.18.

Shirking My Duties

Travel has prevented me from making picks for two weeks straight, so I apologize to the seven people who read this. I'll also be out of town this weekend but vow to somehow make it to a computer to pick some games.

He's spent most of this week grading movies, taking about nonsense and his love of Bust A Move, so not much to go on right now. Come on Skip, give me some college basketball picks or something.

Happy Thanksgiving Dicks

Even outside of sports, Skip is wrong about everything...

This is 100% wrong. Stuff your fat faces with as much food as possible today. And still have leftovers three times throughout the day. Oh, and football. Hopefully this guy calls the games today.

Closerace, Indeed

So far this week, it's really only been your standard jibber jabber/pointless ruminations on things that everyone already knows. Notice how he only brings up things in which in was mildly right though. "Mildy right" means "fucking amazing" in Bayless terms.

On another note, I'm pissed that I didn't get any bets in over the weekend, looks like it could have been a good one. Stupid Penn State in town and people crashing in my apartment made it hard to get anything done, other than black out.

Day Off

Oops...slept in too late to make any picks or do anything at all actually. NFL picks tomorrow.

Beautiful, Horrible Skip Bayless

By picking games that are exactly on par with the Vegas odds, like he did today and has been doing often recently, he's really testing the system. But I'm still winning. That's how horrible this dude is at calling games.

If I was betting by my gut instincts I would have went Chicago +2 and the over, because picking a winner plus points and the under is always tricky. Lots of different things have to happen. Plus I hate betting the under, it means you're asking for a boring game.* But that's why the system is amazing. He rarely lets me down.

* I don't care what "purist" football fans say. I love football as much as anyone, but great defense (other than massive, bone-crushing hits) is not fun to watch. i want to see touchdown after touchdown and cheerleaders showing their boobies.

That also puts Skip at 8-25 on games I've bet against him on. MIND BOTTLING.

tHANKS AGAIN mR. bAYLESS, YOU DOUCHE. Boom, drunk.

Skip Is Getting Sneaky

I'll take it as a compliment that this douche is making it harder and harder to make picks these days. His pick for tonight...

Skip is obviously looking at lines now before making picks, because let's face it, he is not nearly as smart as the oddsmakers. Earlier today, the line was Miami -1 and O/U 41, making both picks a push and therefore ruining my system. NICE TRY SKIP BUT YOU WILL NOT BEAT ME. Luckily, I waited just long enough for the spreads to move the tiniest bit. (I really hope he doesn't know they continuously change.) Ten minutes before game time, the points are now Miami -2 and the O/U went down to 40 1/2.

I personally think it'll be a Chicago rout but this isn't about what I think. A $20 parlay on Chicago +2 and U 40 1/2 pays out $54.55.

NBA Players Are Not Angels

Who would have ever thought??

Skip has been too busy standing on his soap box talking about the private lives of NBA players to make any picks this week. Fingers crossed for tonight or tomorrow.

Perfect

It really is amazing how bad this guy is at life. His two awful NFL picks gave me two more wins today and rounded out a pretty good weekend of bets. 5-1 overall for me. Skip's record is now at a mind boggling 8-24. And that's just the ones I've tracked.  Thanks Skip.

11/15 NFL picks

Not much to go from except for these two games...

I hate that first game and it's a Pickem game, so I'll go with the over on 43. $25 pays out $21.74.

Patriots + 4 1/2 pays out $22.73.

Nothing else, enjoy your Sunday.

NCAA picks: Me: 3-1, Skip: Still Douchey

This weekend is an example of why gambling is so retarded. Amazing and fun and addicting, but retarded. Skip was actually right about the PSU-OSU game, and was only off by 10 points. Which for him is pretty much unheard of. But I still won my bet because I used his scores to do the O/U instead of a winner.

The point is that there are several ways to use the stupidity of Skip Bayless to your advantage. He will, VERY RARELY, call a game correctly. In those instances when you get that gut feeling that he just might luck out, go with the O/U and not a winning team. My scientific calculations predict your success rate at 216%. He will never get both of these right. Unless he does, but that has happened maybe once this year*.

As creepy, eagle-eyed commenter ajseagles pointed out, I went with Clemson yesterday by mistake. True. Skip picked Florida St. by one and the spread was six. My bad. To stay true to the system I should have went with the Moneyline. But I won anyway so Skip and ajseagles can eat it. As long as you get it in your mind to go against what Skip Bayless says, good things happen. Run tell dat homeboy.

Yes, he technically got one other game right. He picked Alabama at 13-10. The final score was 30-10. I could give a piece of paper to a dead monkey and he would get closer than this once in a while. (I would never kill my monkey). Also, there is nothing good about anything regarding Mississippi, except that it is fun to say.

212 yards is good sometimes.

Now for a little bragging. I believe my prediction was "South Carolina +7 over Florida. Marcus Lattimore is gonna run  all over them. $25 pays out $21.74." As you can see from the graphic to the right, I AM GOD AND YOU SHOULD ALL BOW DOWN TO ME.

Overall I went 3-1 and won over $40 on a day when Skip picked absolutely no upsets. That's how well the system works. And that's how drunk I still am this morning.

NFL picks coming soon.

 * The Reverse Bayless Gambling System Research staff is currently in the process of finding the answer to this¹.

¹ There is no Reverse Bayless Gambling System Research staff.

First and Ten Is Amazingly Bad Television

First off, I hate myself for waking up early on a Saturday morning to watch Skip debate another idiot on channel eleven thousand on cable. But I am committed to pointing out his idiocy to the world. Seriously Robert Smith, could you be any more boring? Holy shit it's too early and I'm too hungover and you're making me sleepy. An example of the razor sharp banter thrown about between these two jackasses:

Skip Bayless: I don't know if Christian Ponder plays when he plays.
Robert Smith: Well said. Well said.

What. the. fuck. Not one thing about that sentence is well said, and this interaction occurred in total seriousness. Shoot me.

As if this amazingly stupid "debate" show could get any worse, Skip and Robert AGREED ON EVERY GAME. Great concept you have going there fellas. Keep up the good work ESPNU.

However, there were many predictions made, which almost makes it worth it. Almost. On to Skip's picks...

An image search for "first and ten" brings
up Christina Aguilera's preggo boobs.
So there you go.

Oregon 44 - Cal 24

Auburn 33 - Georgia 30

Florida 38 - South Carolina 17

Oklahoma St. 35 - Texas 32

Alabama 13 - Mississippi St. 10

Virginia Tech 30 - North Carolina 27

Florida St. 24 - Clemson 23

Ohio St. 28 - Penn St. 14

As you can see, no upset picks, which means today should be upsets out the a-hole.

The games I'm going with are ....
Clemson +6 over Florida St. $25 pays out $21.74.
Mississippi State + 13 1/2 over Alabama. $25 pays out $23.81.
South Carolina +7 over Florida. Marcus Lattimore is gonna run  all over them. $25 pays out $21.74.
And just because I'm a homer, I'll go with the over in the PSU-OSU game. O/U is 49 and $25 pays out $22.73.

Happy gambling and fuck Skip Bayless.

Big Fat Loser

With the Falcons win Thursday night, Skip is on quite the NFL losing streak. At least four, and probably more but my short term memory is officially shot.

It's also cute to see Skip venturing into other sports that he has no clue about.

Final score....

Obviously. Amazing how he can pick any topic and be wrong about it. Keep it up, big guy.

Great Sense of Humor on This Guy (Sike)

Get over yourself you pretentious douche bubble. We're talking about sports, it's supposed to be fun. The Ryan family is awesome and Buddy would punch you in your stupid face if he had any idea how to use a computer. Don't pretend what you do for a living is noble. 

Now onto the good stuff...let's see if Skip can continue his streak of NFL losses.

So the system obviously works, but the spread has been killing me. It's been mind-numbingly close in my last few bets, between one and three points. Luckily there's no spread on this game. $25 pays out $21.74.

Also, yay Thursday football.

Another Weekend, Another Winless NFL Day for Skip

Predictably, Skip went 0-2 in his NFL picks over the weekend. Everything is right in the world again.

Except I lost both bets by 1 point because of the spread. God damn it oddsmakers.

Skip's Best College Weekend Ever is Still a Steamy Pile of Shit

So I came out down for only the second weekend this season, but it's not because Skip was anywhere near close to picking any of these games. Dumb shit just happens sometimes, like Skip getting a job on TV. Let's take at look at his blowout prediction...he picked Nebraska to beat Iowa St. 45-7. Actual final score...

So technically, yes, he picked the winner of the game, but you would have won had you picked Iowa St. and the points. Fuck Skip.

Then he goes ahead and picks two close games, Oklahoma St. 43-Baylor 40 and TCU 27-Utah 24. Actual scores...

Again, he technically picked both of these teams but he was nowhere near being right. Basically he has no fucking clue what he's talking about.

Even when he's right about a close game like he was when picking Illinois over Michigan by 1, he picked the wrong team and was OFF BY 60+ POINTS. What a professional loser.

He also picked South Carolina over Arkansas and they lost by over 3 touchdowns. Vintage Skip right there. Plus he picked LSU in the upset, and now that I think about it, he picks LSU every week. So they're out of the system.

All in all Mr. Dickbag got very lucky in that he picked the winner in most of the games, but there were plenty of ways to make money by using the system. With the spreads and especially the O/Us, which he was way off on, it could have been a lucrative weekend. I just had bad luck and picked the wrong games.Luck of the Irish my ass.

With this in mind, I still won one game convincingly (Arkansas), lost one (LSU) and lost Michigan by one point. These oddsmakers of freaks of nature. NFL recap to come tomorrow.

Ewww

It's not looking good for the system today...Skip still hasn't been that right on about anything but my bets are not looking good.

College Picks

I want to shoot myself for waking up earlier than normal on Saturday morning just so I can see who Skip picks in the college games, but I will do what it takes to prove his douchiness. But I hit a gold mine, he made six picks in all.  Not going to do them all plus I'm on my way out the door, but here are his picks. Do it.

Illinios 31 - Michigan 30

Nebraska 45 Iowa St. 7

TCU 27 - Utah 24

Okie St. 43 - Baylor 40

He also picked LSU and South Carolina to win their games. I already picked Bama earlier in the week.

Out of those games Michigan looks like an easy winner. $25 on Michigan -3 pays out $21.74.
And I like Arkansas +4 1/2 against S. Carolina. $25 pays out $22.73.


That's all for now but I suggest you all look at those scores and bet against them. It works.

Balls to the Wall

So Skip made a bunch of as-vague-as-you-can-get predictions today, not actually picking anyone outright but just giving his thoughts. Well his awful thoughts and passive aggressive opinions are good enough for me. I'm going for it.

First off...my Birds. Now I am a really big gambler. Like I play with an amount that would make most people sick. And ruin lives if I were married and sharing a bank account. But I never, EVER, bet on my own team. Just seems like bad karma. However...

I've also had five Tanqueray and tonics this afternoon but that's neither here nor there.

WAIT...the Eagles are favored by 3. That makes no fucking sense at all. I love them more than I love babies (not hard) but I don't see why that would be. Regardless, in honor of the system I will go against all of my rules (never betting on my team is my only rule), I'm going to go all out.

$50 on Eagles -3 pays out $52.50. tHIS IS THE LEAST HAPPY i'VE (accidental caps lock but I'll keep it to show the shape I'm in right now) ever been on a bet, but I want to prove my system. Plus, I'll be at the game. One more reason to scream my brains out at that douche Peyton.

Speaking of...who has a boy and is like "Let's name him Peyton, and spell it the girl way"?  I'M ALSO LOOKING AT YOU AUBREY HUFF. But enough with the dudes with girl names.

I'm rooting for the Lions this year too. They deserve it. But seriously, fuck Skip Bayless. $50 on the Jets -4 pays out $47.62.

OK, in hindsight, "a bunch" does not constitute two predictions, but I felt like it was more earlier on today. Hopefully he'll make some college picks tomorrow. Have a nice night people.

Finally a Prediction

Skip's prediction tweets are few and far between these days...he teases them on there so you have to watch TV to get them. I spend enough time on this douche that I'd rather not watch him on TV but I will if I have to. I WILL PROVE MY POINT NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU MAKE IT. I also still think he's on to me.

On to his lone prediction.

This just screams of an Alabama rout. Bodog actually has Bama at -6. $50 pays out $45.45. Go Tide Go.

What a Dick

No predictions on anything that I can see. Slow gambling weekend for me.  Luckily the Jon Stewart rally was one of the most fun days in the history of DC.

In conclusion, Skip is an assclown.

Still Going Strong(ish)

Not a horrible weekend but not great one either. I said the Auburn-LSU game would be tight and I was right, won by one point. Skip lost by one. That's the way it's supposed to happen.

He picked the Missouri upset, but he picks against Oklahoma every week. Eventually he was going to be right. Last weekend was that one time. Dick.

Sneaky Skip pretended he was picking three upsets in the NFL when in actuality he picked 3 favorites to win. Which fucks with the system big time.  Luckily he's that bad and I went 2-1.

I lost Minny-GB by one point and I will never bet on anything Favre-related again. Although this weekend he'll most likely be jerking off at home in his Crocs and not playing, so MIN is still on the radar for now.

I won the Giants game because...ha ha Cowboys. It's an amazing feeling watching them fall apart at the seams.

Also won NE because Tom Brady's power comes from his Bieber hair.

All in all I went 3-2. Only made like 11.96 though, which is weak ASS weak. Still a winning record, which just solidifies the shittiness of Skip Bayless. Here's to a better weekend coming up.

Weekend Picks

I'm traveling to Nashville for the Eagles-Titans game this weekend and was afraid I might not get any picks in.  Luckily Douchebag McGee made some college and NFL picks today. Hooray beer.

I think this will be a close one too but I have to stay within the rules. $25 on Auburn -6 pays out $22.73.

I know Skip's schtick is to constantly bet against OU, possibly because he knows everything he picks goes to shit, but that's good news for me. $25 on OU -3 pays out $20.83.

Now for the NFL 3 game special...

First of all, all three of the teams that he picked are favored according to the odds. So he's picking exactly zero upsets. Way to go out on a limb jackass.  But because I'm also an idiot I'll do it anyway.

$25 on the Giants +3.5 over Dallas pays out $20.
$25 on Minnesota +3 over Green Bay pays out $20.
$25 on New Englad over San Diego pays out $19.23.

Happy gambling.

Thanks Skip!!!

Going back to Philly!!!

But let's pretend he didn't say that first part.

Phils in 7.

Big Brother Can Suck It

So I can no longer update this blog from work because of the "Adult Content" filter. I guess my salty language sets off some trigger. Luckily I am barely there.

PS - Fuck Skip Bayless.

The System Works

Well Skip went 1-2, with the two teams he picked to win by 14 losing, and the game which he thought would be close was a blowout. This is a typical weekend for our lovable shithead. Also, he's not lovable.

For any newbie gamblers, a .667 winning percentage is wonderful. And when you bet against Skip, your percentage will normally be even higher. As of today, he is 4-12 with his picks. After a quick calculation in my head, I can say that makes him a fuckwad.

It was almost a perfect weekend, Texas was blowing shit up, Ohio St. got upset, and I was well on my way to Arkansas covering the spread when the 4th quarter started. I left my house to go the Phillies bar in DC with about 14 minutes left and Arkansas up 43-37. Somehow in the 20 minutes it takes me to walk there, Auburn scored 28 points. How the shit does that happen?  The only thing that prevented a perfect gambling weekend for me was the injury of that huge freak Ryan Mallett.

Anyway, that garbage Auburn 4th quarter aside, these games were a good indication of how bad Skip is and how easy it is to pick games by doing the exact opposite of what he says.

In conclusion, Skip Bayless can eat a bag of dicks. Also, Tim Lincecum is a shitface. Seriously, just look at this guy.

**Moustache Update**

I almost want Nebraska to win this game now simply because of this guy...Nebraska DE Cameron Meredith. So nice.

Also threw $50 on Pittsburgh -2 over Syracuse. Easy money but Skip didn't call it so it's not included in the system.

College Picks -10/16

Three specific picks today...this will be a true test of the system. 

Ohio State is only favored by 4 1/2, so $25 on Wisconsin +4 1/2 pays out $21.74.  I feel like Ohio St. is going to smoke Wisconsin also, but I hate agreeing with Skip so will go against my gut instinct on this one.

Nebraska is favored by 10 over Texas, so this one's a little easier. $25 on Texas +10 pays out $22.73. When does Texas ever get 10 points?

Arkansas is actually getting points against Auburn, so $25 on Arkansas +3 1/2 pays out $21.74.

Just to make it an even $100 on the system, I put down a 3-team parlay with these same bets. $25 pays out $141.82.

Also, fuck Skip Bayless.

Wow...

...Skip was pretty close on that one, but if I've learned anything from this little experiment it's that he just got lucky. Also, I was thinking too much about Randy Moss and not enough about Brett Favre's penchant for throwing the pick 6 when the game is on the line.  Assface.

MNF 10/10

Skip went 1-2 in college games, which is quite good for him. Michigan St. paid out for me but unfortunately the 3-game parlay pick didn't pan out.

Next up, MNF tonight.

Jets are favored by 4 1/2 with the O/U at 40 1/2. $20 on the Moneyline says the Vikes and Randy Moss.

Boom

Like clockwork.

College Picks for 10/9

Slim pickins on college picks by Skip today. And his one prediction I agree with, but I'm gonna go with the system on this one.

$25 on Michigan St. +4 pays out $23.81.

Oops...spoke too soon, he has 2 more picks. Going to parlay them.

$20 parlay on Florida St. +5 1/2 over Miami and Florida -7 over LSU pays out $52.

Mid-Week Make Fun of Skip Time

I think this will be a new thing on the blog...he only predicts games on Fridays and Saturdays and it doesn't quite seem right to not point out how much of a dick he is during the week. So...yes, I lost my MNF bet. But it's because I'm an asshole and not because of Skip. Wait, that didn't come out right. Yes, he's definitely an asshole too. And he was still wrong again this week but once again my greed to go for the 3.5x parlay over a regular bet is what did me in. So don't be happy you fool, you were once again wrong, bringing your yearly total on picks to 1-8. Notice how I'm pretending he's reading? I know he is.

What a shithead. Now let's see what he's been up to the last few days.

Figures...Skip got a boner from meeting the douchiest character on one of the douchiest shows of all time. And trust me Skip, he didn't debate you because he was scared of your sports knowledge, rather he didn't want to sit at the same table with you for that long.

Look, I'm celebrating Roy Halladay's no-hitter with a bottle of Tanqueray, a bag of Chex mix and a tube of Astroglide, and I'm still glad I'm me and not you. Go Phillies.

Also, I guess I got the new Twitter format finally. That's good, now I can make fun of people who retweet him...I'm looking at you jasonchen1988.

You know what's even more riveting than that? Saying the same thing that any sports fan on the planet has known since they were a child. Thanks for the insight, that's why you make millions, Skip.

Hmmm.I'm feeling a bit weird right now because Skip said something that is 100% MOTHER FUCKING TRUE. ROY HALLADAY IS GOD and that was the most dominating pitching performance I have ever seen in my life.

Ah...there's the Skip we all love and hate. Eat a bag of dicks. 

Talk to you all when he picks wrong on Friday.

Patriots at Dolphins

Bodog lines are NE -1 1/2, O/E of 49. Odds are this is not going to be a shootout, but I'm still going to go with a big gamble here and do the NE + under parlay. $25 pays out $64.23.

Perfect. Again.

Thank you Skip for being so awful at everything. The system is working beautifully and you still suck ass. 

College Picks - 10/2

I don't know shit about about the Pac 10 but I know Skip Bayless sucks ass so...

$25 on Oregon -7 (-7!) pays off $26.25.

Also...this is not horrible but good enough to bet on. Plus...I think Skip is reading this because his picks have become increasingly close to the Bodog lines. YOU WILL NOT BEAT ME SKIP.

$25 on Oklahoma pays $23.81. Bye.

Um...Hi Skip??

Has he seen this site or is it just a coincidence? *see previous post*

THIS NEVER HAPPENED

The kiss of death...

I do not like this.  Not one bit.

While I Was Away...

So I decided to go on a spur of the moment week-long drinking binge which took me to the Chesapeake Bay, Seattle, and then back to DC just in time to watch the Phillies clinch the National East in person. Amazing times. As my brain cells regenerate and I look back at Skip's picks for the previous weekend, I see lots of money was to be made.

FINAL SCORE: 

 

Now I'm not sure what the spreads were, but suffice it to say it was not more than 8 either way and picking the Jets and the over would have been a great parlay move.  Next up, and these are my favorite...when he goes back weeks and months to pull out a prediction that still turns out to be wrong.

So...Alabama won the title last year...and they look even better than that this year...yet he's sticking with them losing to Arkansas. It's SCIENCE people! Of course they lost...but it wasn't a blowout, so I guess that's good for him. Next is just vintage Skip...no explanation necessary. The following prediction and final score is the prototype for this system.

Well I've spent enough time on this today with no money riding on anything, but it looks like it was a bad week to miss. He did pick the Cowboys to win, which they did, but he has a raging hard on for them and picks them every week. Don't go with Dallas on this system because of course they will eventually win. Unfortunately.

Can't wait for tomorrow's Skip nuggets.

Whoops.

Even a blind dog gets the worm sometimes, right? Pretty sure that's how the saying goes. Anyway, the system was not perfect this week, as Skip got one prediction right. (1 for 6 on the season)

But the more important thing here is that Skip was still mostly wrong and it was my greed that cost me one of the bets. First to the anomaly...

OK, everyone gets lucky sometimes. You will see as the season progresses that this will not happen often. It's still called gambling though. Lost $25.

Next up is where I got greedy. As you can see though, Skip was still wrong in his prediction. And really, me winning bets comes in a distant second place to pointing out how horrible Mr. Bayless is at his job.  Although he was close, he was still WRONG.

This is where my lack of respect for this guy clouded my judgment. But in case I haven't said it yet, he was still wrong. Lost $30.

Last but not least is the winner, the way these things will go more often than not. By simply betting the opposite of what Skip says, you'll more often than not win. He picked New England by 3.

Had the spread not made it a push, I probably would have went Jets and the over and had a big parlay payout, however I had to settle for just the over. Won $45.25.

So...overall I was 1-2, which is not great, but I only lost less than $10. (-$9.75) Skip was still 1-2, which is what's important. Thanks for reading and please register your disgust with this man to whoever is closest to you at this exact moment.