What a Dick

No predictions on anything that I can see. Slow gambling weekend for me.  Luckily the Jon Stewart rally was one of the most fun days in the history of DC.

In conclusion, Skip is an assclown.

Still Going Strong(ish)

Not a horrible weekend but not great one either. I said the Auburn-LSU game would be tight and I was right, won by one point. Skip lost by one. That's the way it's supposed to happen.

He picked the Missouri upset, but he picks against Oklahoma every week. Eventually he was going to be right. Last weekend was that one time. Dick.

Sneaky Skip pretended he was picking three upsets in the NFL when in actuality he picked 3 favorites to win. Which fucks with the system big time.  Luckily he's that bad and I went 2-1.

I lost Minny-GB by one point and I will never bet on anything Favre-related again. Although this weekend he'll most likely be jerking off at home in his Crocs and not playing, so MIN is still on the radar for now.

I won the Giants game because...ha ha Cowboys. It's an amazing feeling watching them fall apart at the seams.

Also won NE because Tom Brady's power comes from his Bieber hair.

All in all I went 3-2. Only made like 11.96 though, which is weak ASS weak. Still a winning record, which just solidifies the shittiness of Skip Bayless. Here's to a better weekend coming up.

Weekend Picks

I'm traveling to Nashville for the Eagles-Titans game this weekend and was afraid I might not get any picks in.  Luckily Douchebag McGee made some college and NFL picks today. Hooray beer.

I think this will be a close one too but I have to stay within the rules. $25 on Auburn -6 pays out $22.73.

I know Skip's schtick is to constantly bet against OU, possibly because he knows everything he picks goes to shit, but that's good news for me. $25 on OU -3 pays out $20.83.

Now for the NFL 3 game special...

First of all, all three of the teams that he picked are favored according to the odds. So he's picking exactly zero upsets. Way to go out on a limb jackass.  But because I'm also an idiot I'll do it anyway.

$25 on the Giants +3.5 over Dallas pays out $20.
$25 on Minnesota +3 over Green Bay pays out $20.
$25 on New Englad over San Diego pays out $19.23.

Happy gambling.

Thanks Skip!!!

Going back to Philly!!!

But let's pretend he didn't say that first part.

Phils in 7.

Big Brother Can Suck It

So I can no longer update this blog from work because of the "Adult Content" filter. I guess my salty language sets off some trigger. Luckily I am barely there.

PS - Fuck Skip Bayless.

The System Works

Well Skip went 1-2, with the two teams he picked to win by 14 losing, and the game which he thought would be close was a blowout. This is a typical weekend for our lovable shithead. Also, he's not lovable.

For any newbie gamblers, a .667 winning percentage is wonderful. And when you bet against Skip, your percentage will normally be even higher. As of today, he is 4-12 with his picks. After a quick calculation in my head, I can say that makes him a fuckwad.

It was almost a perfect weekend, Texas was blowing shit up, Ohio St. got upset, and I was well on my way to Arkansas covering the spread when the 4th quarter started. I left my house to go the Phillies bar in DC with about 14 minutes left and Arkansas up 43-37. Somehow in the 20 minutes it takes me to walk there, Auburn scored 28 points. How the shit does that happen?  The only thing that prevented a perfect gambling weekend for me was the injury of that huge freak Ryan Mallett.

Anyway, that garbage Auburn 4th quarter aside, these games were a good indication of how bad Skip is and how easy it is to pick games by doing the exact opposite of what he says.

In conclusion, Skip Bayless can eat a bag of dicks. Also, Tim Lincecum is a shitface. Seriously, just look at this guy.

**Moustache Update**

I almost want Nebraska to win this game now simply because of this guy...Nebraska DE Cameron Meredith. So nice.

Also threw $50 on Pittsburgh -2 over Syracuse. Easy money but Skip didn't call it so it's not included in the system.

College Picks -10/16

Three specific picks today...this will be a true test of the system. 

Ohio State is only favored by 4 1/2, so $25 on Wisconsin +4 1/2 pays out $21.74.  I feel like Ohio St. is going to smoke Wisconsin also, but I hate agreeing with Skip so will go against my gut instinct on this one.

Nebraska is favored by 10 over Texas, so this one's a little easier. $25 on Texas +10 pays out $22.73. When does Texas ever get 10 points?

Arkansas is actually getting points against Auburn, so $25 on Arkansas +3 1/2 pays out $21.74.

Just to make it an even $100 on the system, I put down a 3-team parlay with these same bets. $25 pays out $141.82.

Also, fuck Skip Bayless.

Wow...

...Skip was pretty close on that one, but if I've learned anything from this little experiment it's that he just got lucky. Also, I was thinking too much about Randy Moss and not enough about Brett Favre's penchant for throwing the pick 6 when the game is on the line.  Assface.

MNF 10/10

Skip went 1-2 in college games, which is quite good for him. Michigan St. paid out for me but unfortunately the 3-game parlay pick didn't pan out.

Next up, MNF tonight.

Jets are favored by 4 1/2 with the O/U at 40 1/2. $20 on the Moneyline says the Vikes and Randy Moss.

Boom

Like clockwork.

College Picks for 10/9

Slim pickins on college picks by Skip today. And his one prediction I agree with, but I'm gonna go with the system on this one.

$25 on Michigan St. +4 pays out $23.81.

Oops...spoke too soon, he has 2 more picks. Going to parlay them.

$20 parlay on Florida St. +5 1/2 over Miami and Florida -7 over LSU pays out $52.

Mid-Week Make Fun of Skip Time

I think this will be a new thing on the blog...he only predicts games on Fridays and Saturdays and it doesn't quite seem right to not point out how much of a dick he is during the week. So...yes, I lost my MNF bet. But it's because I'm an asshole and not because of Skip. Wait, that didn't come out right. Yes, he's definitely an asshole too. And he was still wrong again this week but once again my greed to go for the 3.5x parlay over a regular bet is what did me in. So don't be happy you fool, you were once again wrong, bringing your yearly total on picks to 1-8. Notice how I'm pretending he's reading? I know he is.

What a shithead. Now let's see what he's been up to the last few days.

Figures...Skip got a boner from meeting the douchiest character on one of the douchiest shows of all time. And trust me Skip, he didn't debate you because he was scared of your sports knowledge, rather he didn't want to sit at the same table with you for that long.

Look, I'm celebrating Roy Halladay's no-hitter with a bottle of Tanqueray, a bag of Chex mix and a tube of Astroglide, and I'm still glad I'm me and not you. Go Phillies.

Also, I guess I got the new Twitter format finally. That's good, now I can make fun of people who retweet him...I'm looking at you jasonchen1988.

You know what's even more riveting than that? Saying the same thing that any sports fan on the planet has known since they were a child. Thanks for the insight, that's why you make millions, Skip.

Hmmm.I'm feeling a bit weird right now because Skip said something that is 100% MOTHER FUCKING TRUE. ROY HALLADAY IS GOD and that was the most dominating pitching performance I have ever seen in my life.

Ah...there's the Skip we all love and hate. Eat a bag of dicks. 

Talk to you all when he picks wrong on Friday.

Patriots at Dolphins

Bodog lines are NE -1 1/2, O/E of 49. Odds are this is not going to be a shootout, but I'm still going to go with a big gamble here and do the NE + under parlay. $25 pays out $64.23.

Perfect. Again.

Thank you Skip for being so awful at everything. The system is working beautifully and you still suck ass. 

College Picks - 10/2

I don't know shit about about the Pac 10 but I know Skip Bayless sucks ass so...

$25 on Oregon -7 (-7!) pays off $26.25.

Also...this is not horrible but good enough to bet on. Plus...I think Skip is reading this because his picks have become increasingly close to the Bodog lines. YOU WILL NOT BEAT ME SKIP.

$25 on Oklahoma pays $23.81. Bye.